If you can't say...

My mind and heart have been heavy this weekend.  I haven't been able to sleep (that could be because of being pregnant), but I have had so many thoughts.  Most of my thoughts come from three recent sources.  1) two funerals I have attended in the last two weeks 2) LDS General Conference and 3)  Two recent Sunday school lessons in the New Testament Gospel Doctrine Manual.  

The funerals that I attended reminded me that the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.  Which also relates to Lesson 30, "God is no respecter of persons."  The two men whose funerals I was at were very different.  One was very well know to the world and the other known by few, BUT I KNEW Heavenly Father thought of them as equals.  I KNOW that Heavenly Father values my worth regardless of my earthly accomplishments.  I know he wants the happiness of all of his children, not just the President, an accomplished scholar, or athlete.  The worth of souls is very great in his sight.  Every speaker during conference affirmed that to me and that our potential is unlimited.

The other thought I have been thinking about is the power of words.  I heard this quote in Lesson 32 today, Elder Marvin J. Ashton taught: “When others disagree with our stand we should not argue, retaliate in kind, or contend with them. … Ours is to explain our position through reason, friendly persuasion, and accurate facts. Ours is to stand firm and unyielding on the moral issues of the day and the eternal principles of the gospel, but to contend with no man or organization. Contention builds walls and puts up barriers. Love opens doors. … Contention never was and never will be an ally of progress” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1978, 10; or Ensign, May 1978, 7–8).  I loved this quote!  Shouldn't the Spirit guides us in all we say so we don't offend???  Isn't the saying "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all..."  still followed today.  Gossip, drama and backbiting have seemed prevalent to me lately.  Where has respect, kindness, compliments, etc... gone?  While I may not be an amazing writer, storyteller, or the best at grammar, I still believe words have a profound effect on everyone.  Our prophet, Thomas S. Monson, said this in conference:

"Let us speak to others with love and respect, ever keeping our language clean and avoiding words or comments that would wound or offend. May we follow the example of the Savior, who spoke with tolerance and kindness throughout His ministry.”

To repeat, "Contention builds walls and puts up barriers. Love opens doors. … Contention never was and never will be an ally of progress."

A Single Survey

I don't think my husband even knows about this, but I recently took a survey that The Church of Jesus Christ sent me.  I am sure the survey was only sent to a few select people because it was for mid-singles that got married in the last year or so.  

For some reason it was a deeply spiritual experience for me.  I cannot remember all of the questions, but I did save two of my responses:

"Do things that encourage dating.  If you live in an area where dating is not happening, get online or move.  You cannot sit at home and expect something to happen without action!  Most of all Faith!  Faith in his timing, faith that he knows you and loves you, and faith that all people will be rewarded, just in different times.  Don't fear!  Even if you have close family that has been divorced.  

I waited for awhile for my husband to get sealing clearance.  A temple sealing was important for me.  He had been married twice and has four kids.  My step-mom also married a divorced man with four kids, so I learned a lot from her.  These were scary thing for me, but I know that faith, regular attendance, and study in the gospel are the most important things in a single life and married life.  Patience and faith really do bring greater happiness!"

I omitted one line that was too personal to share.  For those of you that don't know me personally here is some background info.  I dated a lot after age 26 or 27, before that I was pretty shy.  Most of my dating was short lived, not turning into long-term relationships.  I finally married my husband when I was 32, which in LDS terms is old. It was well worth the wait and while I married a divorced man with 4 boys, I have never regretted it!  I still have many friends that are single.  I would recommend the book "A single voice," which I talked about in another blog entry.  Just because you are single DOES NOT mean you have less worth, the Lord just has a different timetable for each of us.  

Top things I learned from taking the survey:

1-Family life does bring the most happiness in life!

2-Marriage is work and always will be.  If your not working one of you has given up.

3-Like "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" states, "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded on the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ."

Gopsel Principles

I have had a hard time lately for several reasons.  One reason is I am just overwhelmed with life,

especially being a Mom and more-so my calling.  It is rough not to compare yourself to others when you feel like a failure.  Yesterday I read in Alma and these scriptures stood out:

26:27 Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.

Principle learned:  The Lord is there for us, be patient in all my trials and endure cheerfully.  It won't last forever.

27:18 Now was not this exceeding joy? Behold, this is joy which none receiveth save it be the truly penitent and humble seeker of happiness.

Principle learned: Joy comes to those who seek it, stay close to the gospel teachings, and are patient.  This is pure joy, not temporary worldly joy!

27: 27 And they were among the people of Nephi, and also numbered among the people who were of the church of God. And they were also distinguished for their zeal towards God, and also towards men; for they were perfectly honest and upright in all things; and they were firm in the faith of Christ, even unto the end.

Principle learned:   We have the gospel (good news), which brings zeal to living life!  If I am firm in my faith I can endure to the end!

Testimony building at it's best studying the scriptures and buoying me up again!

You can and must be an important part of His giving comfort to those who need comfort

Since the Women's meeting on Saturday I have listened to this talk three times!  It is so good!!! I have really been sensitive to the unkindness and ugliness in the world lately.  I really want to comfort others, be the smile in someone's day, and especially show kindness to those who are rude, mean, downtrodden, or angry! I am determined to come up with a plan/set goals of how I can do this better!  In the meantime here are my favorite words from Elder Eyring's talk on Saturday:

"You can and must be an important part of His giving comfort to those who need comfort. You can play your part best if you know more of how He answers those prayers for help.

You are a covenant member of the Church of Jesus Christ. A great change began in your heart when you came into the Church. You made a covenant, and you received a promise that began changing your very nature.

“Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life.”

That is why you have a feeling to want to help a person struggling to move forward under a load of grief and difficulty. You promised that you would help the Lord make their burdens light and be comforted. You were given the power to help lighten those loads when you received the gift of the Holy Ghost.

We lighten the loads of others best by helping the Lord strengthen them. That is why the Lord included in our charge to comfort others the command to be His witnesses at all times and in all places.

The Father and the Son send the Holy Ghost to comfort and strengthen disciples of the Master in their journey."

Pass on a little kindness TODAY!

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/the-comforter?lang=eng&media=audio#listen=audio

Improving Self

I know, I know, it has been two months!  Holiday's get to all of us, but they were very enjoyable!  I was talking to someone yesterday about some problems that they are going through.  Their focus was on fixing or changing the other person whom they were struggling with.  As hard as the situation was, especially me not wanting to say the wrong thing, I knew that if they strengthened their self they could over come anything!  

It reminded me of the lesson I taught in Relief Society last week.  It was one of Elder Uchtdorf's talks from this past conference.  Lord is it I? was an amazing talk that I needed to learn from.  It was perfect for me!  So many times in life we get frustrated with ourselves and end up fault finding with others, which is a natural thing to do and hard to change, but can also lead us to self examination. 

I am far from perfect.  I don't have the greatest grammar, I am not as patient as I should be, I have weight I need to loose, I need to do better studying my scriptures and saying my prayers, the list goes on.  The important part to remember is we need to be improving and constantly.  We can do all things with the Lord!  Looking forward to making some changes in me in 2015!